glitchinthesystem | Deerington Inbox

You say that like I'm ready to stop hating myself yet.

[He isn't. Not here, certainly not back home. His last memory there was trying to talk Cass down, trying to explain to her just how badly her choices were going to mark her in the long run. That it would scar her deep and irreparably.

She didn't listen. She didn't want to hear it, but it didn't make what he had to say any less true. Sure, it was self-sabotage. That he could work on being a better person as much as he liked, but until he learned to let go of a least a little of his self-loathing, he could never truly move forward. Rapunzel drilled this sort of thing into him a lot. To stop being so hard on himself.]

It's not as easy as just letting it go. It is in the past, but moving away from it like it was nothing feels like spitting in the faces of the people I hurt. I can't just cut that lose.

[ Glitch just bites his lip tightly as Varian tells him this. What's he to say? It felt like none of his words were really making it through or the other boy had an argument for everything. Maybe this is something he hates to see. Probably because he himself is literally the worst when it comes to comforting others or perhaps because Varian is far more...

Moral than he is. It's a weird twisting sensation in his gut that he's not really sure what to say to. But, the impulse words come forward and he leans in a bit to look at Varian. ]

Then I'm telling you to let go of hating yourself over what happened between you and me. Because I've already told you you're good. You're fine.

I- [ A pause as he feels the words out in his mind and the look directly into Varian's face. The near constant impetuous mask Glitch wore falls into something more sincere and vulnerable. ]

I forgive you. So you're not spitting in my face if you let that go at least.

[ It's really foreign words to him. How many people in his life has he actually forgiven? Not many. Many people who've hurt him had done it purposely and never offered any sort of remorse. Honestly, he had never expected an apology from Varian...he just thought they'd brush it under the rug and never mention it.

So the fact that Varian gave him one? It's...special. So, he leans back in his seat and sighs. ]

[Varian was well skilled in having an argument for everything. Call it bloody-minded stubbornness, call it pride- he didn't concede victory all that often if he could help it. Not when something was important.

He can tell Glitch is being earnest here. He sees the mask slip and he can't ignore it. He can't push it to one side like it doesn't matter. So, he heaves out a soft sigh, relinquishes a little ground. He can't forgive himself for everything yet. He's not sure if he ever should forgive himself for everything. But one little part, maybe he could? Maybe that's what letting go is- not the big things all at once, but one little step at a time. ]

Okay. [He breathes it out, careful, final. Putting a full stop at the end of a proverbial sentence. He offers a small, weak smile.] I- I can try that, at least.

Good.

[ Because Glitch didn't want to sit here all day trying to argue this point. He'll take this as a small victory at least and now he can go back to burying everything he's feeling deep down and probably die with it someday.

However, Glitch already was feeling awkward after this tentative moment of vulnerability, so he latches onto the first thing he can. When he looks at Varian's chin, he squints and then back to the boy. ]

Wait...when we fought...

Did you fucking draw a beard on your face? [ The important questions. ]

[Fuck]

[Oh noooo, he thought no one had noticed. Oh noooooooooooooo. He clears his throat, fidgetting with his bedclothes.]

I- uh- I have no idea what you're talking about.

[ The look tells him everything and that sour look that always seems to be on Glitch's face immediately turns into the broadest of grins as he begins to laugh. ]

Oh my fucking GOD! YOU DID! YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING DID!

[ Sorry, Varian this can't be taken from him now. ]

[You know what, he's okay with dying again. It's fine. It's got to be better than this. He's just gonna... sink lower in his bed, pulling the sheets over his head. This is where he lives now. Blanket town. Bye, Glitch.]

Please stop. It's embarrassing and I was crazy.

[ Nah. Nope. No hiding in Blanket town as Glitch pulls the sheets up to see the embarrassed nerd. Still, he can't help but keep quietly chuckling. ]

Man. Revenge you was way too extra. But, all right. Fine. I'll stop.

For now.

[ Which is when he pushes the things he brought closer on the end table. ]

AFTER. You take everything I brought. Punishment is me laughing forever.

[Noooo, Glitch, let him stay in Blanket Town.]

Yeah, well, I was out of my freakin' tree at the time.

[He sighs, petulantly going about doing just that. See? SEE GLITCH? He's taking them.]

I guess there's probably worse punishments.

[Like, y'know, execution.]

[ He's just leaning back in his seat giving something of a small smirk. ]

Hey, at least oranges taste good.

When you're better you owe me a movie.

...There is that, I guess.

[He offers a fleeting smile.]

You got it. You'll still have to sneak me in, but sure. I owe you one [he holds up one finger] movie.

Man, did you think I was going to fucking pay to go in? Please. This hell town can deal with us sneaking in.

[ Still, he gets up to head to the door. ]

All right, well I'm gonna let your sick ass get better. And remember,

you can't hate yourself over what happened between us anymore.

Because, I'll know.

Maybe for a brief second, I thought you were going to be a law-abiding citizen. Sorry, I recently come back from the dead, I'm suffering some flu-based delusions.

[Because what is friendship if you can't take loving jabs at your buds, right? He flops back on his pillow, raising a hand in a lazy half-salute-half-wave.]

I'd question how you'd know that but I don't think I want to know. It's probably weird. You're weird.

Yeah, well, get some rest...and don't die again.

[ Because well...

He doesn't like the fact it happened. That it might happen again and maybe he'd be next. ]

My means are mysterious so you're right to think it's something weird.

[ He steps to the door and looks back for a brief moment before he says; ]

See ya, Var.

[ And there he goes. ]

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